Top 3 things I've loved about my pregnancy (and the Top 3 things I've hated)

Pregnancy is a crazy time for you both physically, emotionally, socially and mentally. There are some things that are awesome about it, and there are some things that really suck. I have been relatively lucky with my pregnancy in that I have not suffered a lot of the common issues such as vomiting constantly and the crazy back pain. There is this weird societal stigma though that if you do not suffer during a pregnancy that it is not a “real pregnancy” (this was said to a woman I know who also had a relatively ‘easy’ pregnancy). Just because we don’t have our head in the toilet, doesn’t mean that there isn’t some kind of inconvenience going on. That being said, to all my recently pregnant friends out there who have spent the better half of their pregnancy puking their guts up: you are amazing and I do not envy you.

So this is my experience with the top 3 things I loved about being pregnant, and the top 3 things I hated.

Top 3 things I have loved

1) Baby kicks

I was always lead to believe that baby kicks were painful, but this was not my case at all. At the beginning the baby kicks were so weird. Not so much ‘enjoyable’ as they were ‘what the hell is that? It feels like a fish flopping around in my stomach? Maybe I need to poop?’ Once you recognise them as baby kicks though, they become pretty fun. There was a period of time during trimester 2 were I was over them for a while, after all they do have Every. Single. Day. And sometimes when you are trying to focus on something really important, your guts squirming around does not help the situation. (God forbid you say this out loud- trust me you will be met with a lot of "just be grateful she's moving at all!) But for the most part I loved my baby kicks, which is surprising to me because I didn’t think that I would. Even at 35 weeks pregnant, I still enjoy feeling them. Okay, they are less kicks now and more squirms as she runs out of space, and her feet are starting to dig into my ribs, but it still feels pretty interesting. Let's see how I feel about it at 40 weeks though.

2) That ‘better skin, hair and nails’ thing is true (at least for me it is)

I never used to have acne- my skin was as clear as a baby’s bottom (after its been wiped of course!). But once I started teaching I was under stress that I had never experienced in my life before, and my skin exploded. Cystic acne on both cheeks that refused to budge. It was like that for YEAAAAAAARS. I did everything, but the only thing that made it fade away was getting rid of stress (easier said than done, when the thing that’s stressing you out is your job, and you need to job to, I dunno, survive and shit?!) After about 8 years it calmed down a bit, and then flared up again when we bought our house. Just after we bought our house I fell pregnant, and at first, the skin was not clearing up. But slowly, as the weeks went by, and the hormones levelled out, my skin began to clear. Hallelujah! As each month has gone by its gotten better, and I know it will all go to shit once the baby comes and it will go back to what it used to be, but I’m just going to enjoy this while I can. Not to mention the hair! So much longer than it was at the start of the year, and so much more healthier. It will of course all fall out post-partum, but for now I can enjoy it.

3) Thinking about who she is going to be

The biggest thing that has always scared be about having a baby is parenthood. The labour? Yeah we all know it's gonna suck. Uncomfortable during pregnancy? Walk in the park. But parenthood is the thing that I dread above all. Maybe it’s because I’m a teacher, and I have seen what effects different parenting styles have had on kids. Maybe it’s the idea of lack of control. Maybe it's the daunting thought of it being hard work every day for the rest of my life. But either way, parenthood has me shitting myself. Mainly parenting little kids- I don’t do well with little kids. Early on in my pregnancy I kept saying that I’d be happy to have her as a baby, give her to someone else to look after for years 2 to 15, and then I could come back in for the rest of the teenage years. Teens I can do. Yes they’re moody and erratic, but you can reason with them to a level. Little kids don’t have that empathy yet, and I cannot deal with that. There’s a reason why I teach High School and not Primary School! That’s why I was so surprised when, slowly, slowly, the idea of bringing her up begun to excite me. Don’t get me wrong, I am still shit scared, and I am still not looking forward to tantrums and tears, but I cant help but look down at my belly, wonder what she is going to be like, and smile.

Top 3 things I hate

1) Needing to pee ALL. THE. TIME

Dear god, the need to pee. All of trimester 1. All of trimester 3. At 35 weeks, I literally go to pee, sit back down on the couch, and the act of sitting, makes me need to pee again. WHY?? Why is this a thing? As a teacher, I cannot chose when I get to go to the toilet. If I am teaching a double lesson, your only option is to hold it for the whole 100 minutes of the lesson. Well, that went out the window didn’t it? I didn’t care if the kids were setting each other on fire, if I needed to go, I went. Not to mention the need to pee when you laugh, sit, stand, walk, eat, breathe and even when you are doing literally nothing, all she has to do is move her head or poke you in the cervix and you gotta go. It's like there’s a little button inside you, and the baby is being trained that each time to pushes the pee-pee button she gets a treat. Not to mention it's getting harder and harder to reach down and wipe. Not fun.

2) Food aversion, nausea and not being allowed to eat certain things

Whilst I didn’t really throw up from my pregnancy in the first trimester, I definitely had nausea and food aversion. My biggest issue was Greek lamb (which is crazy because I am Greek and obviously love lamb). The issue came from Christmas Day: I was about 7 or 8 weeks pregnant at the time, and had decided to make a traditional lamb on the spit for Christmas lunch with the family. Unfortunately, at some point the lamb fell into the coals; it was ok, we brushed it off and kept the lamb cooking. But I tell you what, when it came to eating the lamb, and chewing on gritty, sandy lamb meat, it messed me up psychologically. Well, not only did that cut out lamb, it cut out lemon, garlic, lettuce, tomato, pita bread, onion, just from the one meal. I'm 35 weeks now, and am still not able to do lamb. I spent the better part of 3 months eating nothing but Wheet-Bix for breakfast lunch and dinner. And the indigestion, my GOD the indigestion. It was triggered by just drinking water. I remember crying in my kitchen at the frustration of needing to drink water for the baby, and not being able to because of the hours of indigestion and heartburn it caused. Not to mention all of the things we are not allowed to eat as pregnant ladies. Alcohol I didn’t care about, but 9 months without soft cheese, rare steak, prawns, oysters and smoked salmon? Kill me now! At least I know what my first meal once she comes out is going to be!

3) Having a “Covid-19” pregnancy

When I fell pregnant in November 2019, I had all of these ideas on what I would love to do while I was pregnant. And I was so looking forward to doing them all. I was going to go on a Baby-moon with my husband, maybe Phillip Island or Tasmania, I was going to have a fully decked out baby shower, I was going to be able to spend my days going from store to store buying all the supplies I needed. Well, that went out the window didn’t it? Even though there are a lot of women who are in the same boat as me, that doesn’t mean that it still isn’t shit. Whilst some things have been a blessing in disguise when being pregnant in ISO (you can go to the toilet when you need, you can spend all day in bed or on the couch and don’t need to be on your feet all day), as ISO has gone on (this is what, the 7th month of this pandemic now??) you get sick of missing out on the things you were looking forward to doing. Your first pregnancy is special, it’s the first time you get to do all the “pregnancy things” before the baby comes. Instead I spent it every day on the couch, no one for company, looking online for things to buy for the baby only to realise that shipping would be $40, and then cracking it and giving up. The honest truth is, people tend to care less about your second baby- your first baby is the big one, it's extra special. I feel like I have missed out on so many of the pregnancy and baby experiences due to this fucking pandemic, and I’m not going to be able to get those experiences back. I have missed out on hospital appointments, scans, antenatal and birthing classes, meeting up with friends over coffee to discuss baby things, joining mother’s groups, going on trips and so many other things because of this lockdown. And the lockdown still isn’t over- I won’t be able to have visitors in the hospital, I won’t even be able to have my mum come over to help me. Some women have even had to give birth without the father being present. So any other mumma who is reading this and is going through their pregnancy during this ridiculous time, all I have to say is: you have a right to be angry. You have a right to be upset. Yes there is nothing we can do about it, and yes I 1000% agree with lockdown for the greater good of getting the virus, but fuck me, you have the right to be fucking furious that this has ruined your pregnancy experience.

There are a lot more things that I have both loved and hated about my pregnancy, but this is just the things that I feel are closer to the surface. Comment below on what your top 3 things you loved and hated about your pregnancy.

Love, The Feminist Mum